Ok, I have a lot I want to write about, but first, I need to tell you about my friend.
My friend got home at 12:30 last night, or this morning, what ever way you look at it. She stayed home from school, obviously. I talked to her today, on the phone, and then later went to her house.
She was at the barn, when she suddenly felt like her throat was being clogged. She was having trouble breathing, and her sister told her that her face was going blue. Shortly after, she pretty much passed out.
She was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.
They sent her home, and didn't do anything.
The same thing had been happening last year, starting in around June, I don't think I knew her that well, back then. Anyway, she was having "seizure" type episodes, and she went to tons of doctors but they didn't find out anything. They stopped for a while, and now they are starting up again. It looks like she is going to be going to the doctors a lot again.
I am worried about her, but glad she is feeling better at the moment.
Now, on to other things.
Florida is in two days. Tomorrow I have a doctor appointment, and then we are coming back home, getting a airport taxi to the airport, where we will stay in a hotel. My dad will meet us there, after work. We are gonna hang out there, and then Wednesday, early flight, and we are in FLORIDA!
So excited! I am getting a pirate makeover, in Disney World on Friday, my birthday. Then Saturday, we are swimming with the dolphins in Sea World. The rest of the time there we are visiting Disney World, and just chilling out! So excited!
On to something else that really bothers me.
I have been told that in high school, people change. You lose old friends and make new friends. No one told me how painful that could be.
During the summer of grade 7, I switched schools. Moving to a new city, and leaving the friends I had known since SK behind. I managed to make friends rather quickly. Three great friends that were girls, and one great guy friends.
Don't I wish that had lasted.
My guy friend moved away in grade 8. He use to be one of my best friends. Now, I never talk to him, and in the rare time I do, its not an interesting conversation.
One of good girl friends, turned out to not be so nice. She got sick in grade 8. A heart issue. Being sick myself, I gave her tons of support. For a while, we were like best friends. And then, one day, she hated me. I found out she was calling me a b**** behind my back!
I told my best friend, about what she did, and suddenly, she had no friends. Now, she is home schooled. Occasionaly I see her posting on facebook. She is the only one that comments or "Likes" her status', pictures, or posts.
My other good girl friend, was never very close with me. We kind of drifted apart. She made new friends this year, and I stuck with a few old friends.
The last girl, my best friend isn't who she use to be. (She will be refered to as MCR
It makes my heart ache, every time I read something about her now that she has wrote, or talk to her.(I haven't talked to her in at least a month, more then likely more).
She use to be so much fun, she never swore, she never wore make-up, had the same kind of style I did. She was loud at times, but mostly quiet. She was good, she did her homework, she cared about her grades.
Now, she swears CONSTANTLY. I went on to one website we both have accounts on, and looked at her profile. At the bottom it said:
Layout requests?What the hell?
She never EVER use to write things like hell.
The last few times i talked to her, she said F***, D***, S*** and other words. I do not believe in swearing AT ALL. She was my only other friend who believed in that as much as I do. Others would swear around us, and she wouldn;t/
The make-up she wears is frightening. Her eyes are covered in eyeliner and mascara. She looks like she has big, huge black rings around her eyes. Its only been since High School she has been wearing make-up.
She is mean now, making fun of people more then she ever did. She makes fun of them when they are around. She shuns people, when they try to join in.
When I was still at school, I would hear her say a lot "crap. forgot my homework at school. Gonna have to do it in french."
She never use to be like that. She always had it done, always on time.
It just hurts that she isn't who she is use to be.
Oh, and at school, when I was there, she ignored me. She would tell me on msn, how excited she was I was coming back.
I would come back, expecting her to at least eat lunch with me, and she would barely say hello. I tagged around her for a while, but I realized I wasn't wanted. She never looked back to see if I was there. She always walked ahead, not caring if I was beside her.
Do you know what I blame?
Thor.
I do not know, nor care if he is real.
I think he's creepy.
He's the guy MCR and I found on a website called quizilla. At first, it was just funny, because we thought his name was weird.
But soon, she started talking to him, she got his e-mail. They e-mailed, talked on MSN.
Somehow, my other friends got introduced to him. One was dating him? Online?
It was weird.
That was when she started to change. I don't know why, but it was. I think it was HIM. He swore a lot. But other then the swearing, at first, they were a lot alike. Now, they are like, identical. Swearing, personality. They are like the same.
Me and a few friends believe she is pretending to be Thor, and he isn't real. But, we told MCR this and she has denied it multiple times. One time was so bad, as to start swearing at us, then left MSN. I had to call her, and she was still kind of mad.
I hate him, and I kind of hate her right now.
My dad says I shouldn't be mad. Its just part of growing up. So what? Growing up doesn't give you the right to treat people like crap.
And I know, I haven't been at school. I use to be on MSN every night, anxious to talk to my friends. Soon though, they were on, and I was talking to them, but responses started getting longer and longer apart. Soon, I stopped getting responses at times.
Yesterday I posted: "Don't you love when your friends act like you are invislble, because you aren't at school? How they don't talk to you?" as my MSN name.
Well, a whole three people started talking to me! Guess who didn't? MCR.
Mostly, I think they were talking to me, because they felt bad. By talking to me, it cleared their conscience. They didn't necessarily care about me at all. More about how they felt about the whole thing.
To call this post "Its funny, really" is addressing this all.
Its funny, really, when you try so hard to stay at school, to be with your frieds, and suddenly, you don't have any.
Its funny, really, how much you can hate someone.
Its funny, really, what a few words posted on MSN can do. Get you pity from people.
Its funny, really, how people laugh at you, and you think "if only they knew I was sick", and then you think, "But they don't."
Its funny, really, how despite being excited, I couldn't be more depressed.
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Hey there,
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see you posting again...feels good eh!
High School sucks at the best of times and it doesn't matter whether you are sick or not! Believe it or not...you will forget all of this and have the life that you deserve with friends who are sincere and not trying to fit in by being a not so nice person! Try not to worry about it so much...I know...easy for me to say...but, really....just get through it and you won't believe how great your life will be. Keep crafting (it's the best) and join some clubs with people who have the same interests as you and not just hanging out and becoming nothings! You know...those that were popular in High School usually don't turn out that great, it's the rest of us that work at it and enjoy our lives so much more. Oh my gosh...I sure can go on!! Now go to sleep and get ready for your whirlwind of a vaca and leave all of this behind you!
Please say Hi to your parents for us!!
xOxO Nerina
HEY KATHRYN!!
ReplyDeleteIt's Cassandra idk if u got my text but me and Elizabeth and Beth realllyyy miss you :( I understand if you don't wanna go back to school, people are really mean there, but at least text me back so i can give you my email. because I really miss even if we aren't very close :/ Have fun in Florida and happy early birthday!
Stay Beautiful :)
Love, Cassandra from Buisness
<333